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:: Saturday, August 03, 2002 ::
my stomach has been hurting again, i have troubles falling asleep and i'm always tired. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! argh. i can't get up when my alarm goes off in the morning and i have no motivation anymore.
my dad is back in my life. i even got an allowance.
he is on 8 antibiotics for his stomach aches, and thinks he has a heart problem, and high cholesterol. AND maybe a liver problem (he asked if his hands were yellow).
he thinks i am going nowhere and wasting my life, and not on the path to financial success.
i am just glad he is talking to me.
i made roxanna watch zoolander w/ me. she thought it was dumb. i agree. but it also amuses me GREATLY.
shaun came to my dad's for dinner, then we went back to my house just in time to hang w/ the people coming back from the 9-0. the next day we went on a hunt to find his brother, who didn't really want to hang out, so they called their dad to come pick them up. meanwhile eli was playing jordan's keyboard w/ headphones (thank god) and seemed to think he was pretty awesome. he kept smiling at us, looking for approval. my dad sat downstairs watching some crazy robot movie. he commented on the disgusting mess of a house we had, but luckily liked my room and the new house we'd be moving into.
dad and sandy took us to see austin powers 3, and eli and i snuck in to watch the end of lilo and stitch while we waited. then we ran around pretending to be secret agents, cuz we couldn't find the rest of the group. during the movie, eli was laughing loudly at inappropriate parts, and kept asking me questions. i am glad he is a fan of the same movies as me. he says he wants to be friends w/ me and alex. he likes to talk about everything and everybody, especially me and alex. yay!
when i got home, i couldn't sleep, so i watched some david schwimmer movie about breast implants. desperate move on my part.
i got a parking ticket while i was at my appointment. WHO CLEANS THE STREETS ON FRIDAY!!!!! grrrr.... but....
i saw the BANGLES at disney's california adventure today w/ jake! they played some new songs (i am not sure i like their new songs much.... maybe i need to hear them on cd), as well as a few of their old hits. it was pretty cool to see them and a nice flashback to the days i would listen to the tape i had over and over. jake said they got together cuz of the song they did for susanna hoffs' husband's film (austin powers 2). she was IN austin powers 3 cuz she is in ming tea, mike meyer's band. mwahahha... we went on the big rollercoaster and watched the muppets in 3D, then had a bite to eat at the jazz creole cafe. we needed to get our parking validated at downtown disney, and they validated luckily. AND we got 20% discounts with our disney passes. jake is fun, we have a lot in common and i like to talk to him about the past and the future and blahblahblah. he has the same bday as greg i just learned, four days before alex's. also the same as a friend from work's. same week as a bunch of my HS friends, and reggie's. WEIRD. i take it pisces is a popular sign. my life is full of them.
after that there was this fiasco to find my sister and take her to damian marley's show at the roxy. a bunch of his brothers were there too, and they were REALLY good. i am not even really into reggae but i had such a good time at the show, i was really into it. damian has style - both lyrical and fabrical. he had long dreads, pulled back, shades, a long military trench coat, and a button up dress shirt. there was this dude w/ a jamaican flag who was waving it throughout the WHOLE ENTIRE show. that was amazing, the endurance.... hehe. the roxy itself was nasty and stank, and i wasn't too into the opening band (a bunch of sublime wannabes from long beach - one line, i think they were called).
i love the beach. i am going AGAIN w/ my sister and nephew (third time in a week) and my ameh also this time. i am gonna try to get some blading in. i dont need any sun really, since i got burned in disneyland. grrrr. sunday i guess i'm cleaning the house up a bit so i can pack. our house is pretty nasty right now. i dont know why the people i live w/ are so content w/ the filth. it's kinda vile and disgusting, and i hope our new house doesn't turn out this way. right now it looks so nice w/ new purple doors and silver-knobbed cupboards that look like ikea furnitures. i met some of our new neighbors already, cuz i drove by at the same time as them. they seem pretty cool. we'll see!
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 2:53 AM [+] ::
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:: Monday, July 29, 2002 ::
never smile at a crocodile....
argh. so i missed a few days again. i hate being too busy to blog cuz that usually means i'm not getting enough alone time. i need to bond w/ my computer every now and then. i am so tired now but i need to get this in. hehe.
tuesday i went to mccormick's w/ peter, jordan, and terie after work. i had never been at the first happy hour of the day. usually just after 9. it was my first time sitting outside, and i had steamed clams, no ecoli-burger for me. it was on peter, and we had cake. oooh i love me some good tiramisu. more than men i think..... yes definitely more than men.
i am not sure what has happened since then in order or anything. wednesday i had my appointment early in the morning, and i sat til 12:30 for a 9:30 appointment that i was 15 min early for. sucky. same place i sat for six hours once w/ jordan. got me some new medicine, plus a prescription that i couldn't get filled cuz the pharmacy was closed for another two hours and i was OUTTA THERE.
(i love romantic butterflies. i hope a little affection is in store for you tomorrow.)
i went home to wait for a call from my sister, doing exercises in my room. waiting waiting. finally they call and my dad didn't bother coming to my place on his way past. instead he gets off three exits later, downtown, drops my sister off at a burger king, and has me pick her up to bring her here.
we went to cheesecake w/ jordan and terie, and had a nice seat out by the fountain at the brentwood one. roxanna and terie had an adorable 'discussion' about produce and livestock, and then terie, roxanna, and i met some people at the 9-0. i know i wasn't planning to ever go there again but i wanted to take roxanna out somewhere and it seemed convenient. she just turned 21 a week before so i thought it was fitting.
what a scary place.
unfortunately this time i was not drunk. so it was amazingly worse than the time before. but my pals were there so that was cool. a friend of mine who had shown interest in dating me spilled the beans. turns out he and a friend of his had discussed me, and i guess how i was supposed to be 'his'. or whatever. then i had been talking to his friend that i was not supposed to be hooking up with, TO HANG OUT, and it was a 'bootie call'. WHAT!!!!! why didn't anyone tell ME I was giving him a bootie call? NOBODY BOOTIE CALLS AT 2PM!!!!! argh. i thought the coolest thing about this guy was that he DID NOT make a move on me or make things seem complicated. we were just talking and friendly. it felt safe. then it got all twisted around and someone puts dibs on me. i was pretty pissed at the guy who had 'won' or whatever. so i told him that it was f$!ked up and that they were dumb. he continued to follow me around trying to explain himself but i guess he was drunk cuz he was making it worse.
i wasn't mad, but it was weird. i just felt really frustrated that people couldn't just 'settle' for my friendship and that they had to keep looking too deep into my friendly gestures. the last thing i need right now is a 'relationship'.
other than that, the night was fun.
thursday i thought i was going to die. my medication made me so ridiculously tired that i couldn't get out of bed and i was awake for so long and so hot but so stuck in one position like my mind had left my body. i forgot that this medication makes me so tired, i had been off it for so long. WHY!!!!! argh, i have too much stuff to do to be tired. at least i get to sleep at a normal time. i am ready for bed by 9pm every night. hehe. but w/ my sister here i have to stay up til at least ... midnight. hehe. ended up going to a late lunch at denny's w/ jordan and peter. then waiting for my sister to come by. they finally did i spent the rest of the day hosing my nephew off in the yard and listening to his jabbering.
i drove them back to my dad's house for dinner, watched captain corelli's mandolin (CHRISTIAN BALE WAS GREEK MMMM). when i got home i hung out w/ jake and gabe downstairs. after gabe left i called him to tell him something (a reminder of sorts) and we ended up talking for over an hour. strange that from all that we'd said, mostly discussing HIM, he had pointed out something very true about ME. i am probably RIGHT NOW the most ready for a relationship than i have ever been and perhaps ever will be. i am so much more calm and accepting about them now, so aware of myself, my needs, and my fears. yet i am so terrified that i am not even willing to date. nobody's perfect huh?? this is just how life goes, NOTHING can just work out quite right. i guess there's still a lot of other things that must be taken care of before i can ever let my guard down again.
friday i had my other appointment, then went to lunch w/ peter and jordan again (this time downtown, at this pizza place and coffeebean), and ran into my BOSS. not just my boss. but my boss's BOSS. the head lady. luckily i was on my WAY to work, and not late (i was scheduled for 2 anyhow but i was running early from my morning appt).
went to work, couldn't get my paycheck, may not get it til tuesday... oh well, thank god for credit. ouch. got home, watched bridgette jones' diary, my sister came over, finally we got our act together, rounded up jordan and jake, went to the orange house. introduced her to some people. got gabe. headed to shane's party in no-ho. shaun was there, carissa, and a bunch of people we didn't know. peter momentarily. some guy who seemed to be in a cult. it was amanda's bday so i called her from the bathroom on my cell. i am not sure why i went in the bathroom. even when i dont drink i do weird stuff. shaun told roxanna all sorts of things (drunk people have diahrrea of the mouth) and she later told our ameh that i took him comfort shopping. i guess that's a nice term for it but it definitely made us seem like shopaholics. if they only knew....
we left there soon cuz gabe was buggin about it. i didn't mind leaving cuz i was getting sleepy (thanks to the meds). but the ride home woke me up again cuz everybody cracks me up. so when we got home, i had one drink and headed over to the orange house party again. we had picked up these nasty $1 six-packs of kane's cola (jack and coke-ish) by recommendation of lawrence, even before shane's. but one smirnoff ice did me in (once again, thanks to meds) so i didn't need any of that nasty but economic stuff. the party was larger, and terie and the crew had shown up. my sister was getting pretty out of control, and then appears a beautiful boy from last summer. my ex's friends were also there, as well as my assume-ed "bootie call", his friend that 'gets me', and their friend that i actually DID hook up w/ the night of my bday. what a mess.
luckily even though i was drunk, i was staying OUT of trouble that night. even after terie went home and came back w/ this big ol' bottle of wonderful new jungle juice. he goes out of his way to measure this stuff out to be highly efficient and somewhat tastey. go terie.
eventually i went home and gabe somehow convinced me to talk to him outside for an hour while poor jake waited to take him to get tacos. it was good talking to him though. needless to say i crashed as soon as i got back in bed, next to my sister who has ALWAYS been a bed hog. she loves to sleep diagonally. waaay past my bedtime. but...
saturday i could not sleep in. it was our beach day. too bad my dad had taken everyone to the beach w/out me the day before so they didn't want to go again. i took roxanna to the food court at the UV for breakfast (mmm health hut samwiches and juice), and we went beachin' w/ jordan and jake. my sister has the cutest new red bikini, and it gave me the balls to wear my own lavender string once i got there. it was such a beautiful day, and we eventually met up w/ my dad and his girlfriend and eli, near venice on a shopping street. we had coffee bean, talked to dogs. it felt like summer. finally. a real true summer.
we parted ways and i went w/ jordan and jake to pf chang's for a late lunch, later to meet everyone else back at dad's. we had some good fish and rice, and cucumber yogurt. i played blocks w/ eli. i love my nephew, he is so much fun, and so sweet. i brought him back to my house after dinner, along w/ my sister, to stay over so we could get an early start to my usual sunday drive to the valley. we stopped by the caribbean to say to some people (including derek who had just gotten back from europe) but i ended up leaving roxanna there to take eli home and tell him stories. he fell asleep while i was singing to him. i love having him visit. it made me miss alex more. alex didn't let me sing to him though.
: P
sunday we met ameh at target (SANS DOG) and picked up a few NECESSITIES (everything at target seems so... necessary), then went back to her house to get ready for a day full of eating. we had icey canteloupe w/ rosewater, iced tea, lentil soup w/ lime, steamed artichokes, vinegrette salad, garlic bread, spinach/eggplant/parmesan lasagna, and wild sauteed mushrooms w/ feta baked on a puff pastry. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (i have leftovers wink wink). all home made. all vegetarian. my aunt is great at integrating different styles of food, like persian, italian, and vegetarian dishes. mmmmmmm sooo good. topped off w/ this yummy, warm chocolate and almond cake and cold ice cream, tea, and chocolate covered raspberry bars. mmmm.
we watched time machine and peter pan. i love disney movies. nuf said.
we found a little toy mouse the cat had hidden under the couch, and my nephew screamed "MOUSE MOUSE, me gon' squish 'im!!!!" and grabbed his shoes. he started wackin at the pooor little thing. it was the funniest site, a three year old protecting three grown women from a toy mouse. he was so serious though and kept reminding us about it as the night went on.
on the drive back to my dad's my sister and i had a good talk. i dont wanna go into that now. i dont wanna go into anything really now. not even the stuff w/ my dad. cuz i am not sure what is up w/ that. he seems not angry anymore. im ay even be going to germany w/ him and my nephew in the fall, for a wedding. that would be awesome. he is still a hypochondriac. so frustrating....
goodnight.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 12:04 AM [+] ::
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