|
|
:: Saturday, May 04, 2002 ::
i was at a bbq with some of my friends, and gettin my grub on. when suddenly he appears. guy #2. i was shocked, i really wasn't expecting to see him there at all. and i was a bit upset that he had told his girlfriend MY NAME when he told her about the escapades so i didn't know what to say to him. after i ate, more of my pals started showing up. people i may not see much after this semester. and then i got the balls to go out w/ my cell and call #2 (i really need to find a nickname for him. let's call him ENRIQUE, and name him after the steamiest latin star out there right now hehe). anyways he seemed honestly apologetic when confronted on the topic of having a HUGE mouth. then we were cut off by a man talking about the FTC regulations and Xerox. i didn't realize i was cut off, i figured he was just tired of talking to me and hung up. go figure, i have bad guy luck. then i went back and tried not to be bothered and talk to my pals but i started feeling very.. ill. it may have been the heat or maybe my 'inefficient cycle' but i felt like i needed to go home to sit down in my shady room. after that i felt better. then i became infuriated. HOW DARE HE HANG UP ON ME. so i called again and he said he hadn't, and thought i had. i felt alittle better. but then i was upset that i had let myself be in the position for him to upset me. but he is really a nice and calming guy. i feel a little more clear after talking to him. and not so used. i like this guy a lot, i'm not sure in which way yet, but i like to talk to him and i find him attractive. but i still hold to the fact that i dont want any real boyfriend so i dont think this will become any problem for me or him. i am kinda letting go of my earlier hope that eventually when things were smoother for him we could have some sort of friends with benefits situations. ok it was a total pipe dream. but those are the things that get me through the day. daydreams and storytime. it just seemed like he was saying that he was only interested in me when he was drunk. eh ok i guess. i've been there. but i still hate hearing that.
speaking of guys who HAVE used me - one showed up at the party i was at last night. and i was good and said NOTHING to him. nothing at all. and from hearing other people talk about him more and more, i am basically over him. after all, he'd never keep up w/ me, i'm a bundle of sexual energy, and i need to find someone to take my 'anguish' out upon.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 6:07 PM [+] ::
...
Sometimes
i don’t know where to look for
Inner peace
And i don’t know what i’d do
If i found it
But you know that i will always
Look again
Look to you and hope you love me
inside
But when the rain comes through the cracks in the ceiling i know peace is not
Inside
Love to love
Sometimes i just want to be
Lost in love
I don’t know where to hide from
My best friend
I can’t do it i can’t stop these
Tears from falling
Welling up inside my eyes
Inside.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 5:38 PM [+] ::
...
peter through a jungle safari party for kscr managers last night. check it out.
and in related news....
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 1:31 PM [+] ::
...
wow. finals are done now. but i was soo tired afterwards cuz i didn't get much sleep last night, procrastinating and studying.
tonight was peter's kscr party. it went ok. i had fun, and a lot of my friends were around. jose, terie, and dano were bartending, and dan's cousin faith was there. she was really sweet, i liked her a lot. i had six+ shots (including a few kamikazes) and five mixed drinks. i didn't finish all the mixed drinks, but i had my share. we sang and danced and talked and it was fun to see people before next year when the crew will be a little smaller. eventually a few of us took off to dan riley's party on 23rd, which was his last usc party. he is graduating FOR REALS next week : ( it was good to see everyone there, that party was pretty well-attended. i dont get guys. i am NOT guy, and i look TERRIBLE in shorts. but they were part of my alternative costume tonight (costume A was out of commission - it was a little too revealing for my mood). so i wasn't in costume, just kinda safari-oriented. and somehow that had like 12 guys hitting on me. some of which are 'exes' (waaay too many at party #2), mostly just really drunk guys who are normally just pals. if i get that w/ my shorts on, i wonder what would have happened had i dressed up cute. ooh i would have reaped the benefits of love then. : )
i came back and we planned to go out to eat but everyone was kinda.. too drunk. so i came back and called guy #2 from last weekend and we talked for a bit. turns out i didn't see him at the party i was thinking he'd be at cuz - tonight he BROKE UP w/ his girlfriend cuz of our 'escapade' last weekend. that explains why she was giving me 'looks' at the party... i felt really bad about that, but i know that it really wasn't my fault, i was just talking to him that night. i have NO idea what happened and how it happened, exactly... but he's cool so i will call him again. i enjoy talking to him. and i'd kinda hoped that once things were all ok with him again maybe we could see each other. but as usual i can't get my hopes up because i dont know where he is going, or for that matter, where i am going. i am still waiting i guess, for someone else. which could be good, cuz nothing else can effect me quite so much. what i had was really a beautiful thing. but maybe it is gone. and maybe i need to be with other people just to continue to feel alive, to feel ok.
i just want someone to cuddle with right now. i have good friends, i have people trying to kiss me. but i need warmth and comfort.
i am not ready for anything serious. it may take years. it may take forever. for now i want a 'part-time lover', a friend with benefits. something a little less scary. like i said before, all a girl wants sometimes is a little attention and affection from an attractive guy. kinda like alcohol, makes the world rotate a little smoother.
my friendships are not even doing so well right now, i can't enter into anything serious with anyone til i can fix what i have now.
i had a friend good friend once. but he's making me feel really shitty and telling all these people stuff to make them hate me. sounds just like freshman year, only this time it was kinda my fault. but i still dont like it. and i may never talk to this person again, especially after how he is involving all these people. i never once tried to make him look bad to people. THIS is why i dont have many girlfriend, cuz GIRLS do this shit all the time. they ignore you and do this subtle emotional abuse and cold shoulder shit.
i feel like i am in middle school again, the way some people are acting. it ain't pretty.
i fucked up. and now someone is making it pretty much impossible to ever fix, because of how they are taking this so far. i was really sad about it but the more i get treated like dirt for something i meant with good intentions (but my intentions always seem to get lost along the way), the more i want to just run and hide. i feel completely misunderstood. i never once tried to make this person look bad. this person felt betrayed by me. well i feel betrayed by the reaction, because to be upset at me is one thing but to get the world pissed off at me as well - now that is very unnecessary. and inconsiderate. and maybe even unforgiveable. not because i dont want to forgive, but because there is no turning back once some things are set into motion. and i feel very much in motion. spiraling outward, out of control, but moving further and further away. i'm all about fixing messes but i'm not gonna try to fix a mess that is still in the process of being made. i never meant to hurt this person, but it seems like hurting me is the primary goal of revenge with me. not a game i care to play at all.
eh i'm needing sleep.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 3:40 AM [+] ::
...
:: Thursday, May 02, 2002 ::
canadians are weird.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 10:34 PM [+] ::
...
i went to the rose garden on exposition today, w/ ian. i used to go there a lot, and i will try to go more often. it's so close but makes me feel like we went somewhere special. and it smells good. great summer picnic spot fo sho!
watching the nets/pacers game w/ jordan was kinda scary. at one point he started yelling and throwing himself across the couch, yelling at the tv, and throwing the pillow at the wall. very very scary. he is the nets biggest fan, and they won tonight's playoff after two overtimes. he was patting the tv and clapping and pacing. it was kinda cool. he is still pacing and trying to explain the steps of the playoffs for me... : )
I'm Homer, who are you? by Lexi
i went back and changed one answer and i was marge. go figure.
the results of this barbie quiz were turribley depressing!!!
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 7:13 PM [+] ::
...
wednesday was good to me. i got a long-awaited email from someone i really care about (which actually was the highlight of the day, even though i'm SUPPOSED to not care as much... YOU tell my heart what to feel, she sure as hell isn't listening to me), as well as a few from old friends and that boy #1. went to campus on a nice day. met boy #3. after my final (which went very much better than i'd thought it would), i went on campus w/ the crew and got some free snacks at topping student center, courtesy of student affairs. powdered donettes, GUACAMOLE, chips, and some coffee. then jose and i went to baskins & robbins for freeee ice cream day! i got a scoop of this white chocolate cherry cordial thing which was really good, almost like cherry garcia. and jose had a triple chocolate type thing. and although the line seemed long, it went really really fast and it was FREE! : ) afterwards i went rollerblading w/ my headphones. i made it basically across campus twice, and i was going so fast my head felt like i had been eating popsicles. it was cold! and i really needed more water. so i went back, did some sit down exercises and so on, watched a little lenny kravitz marathon on vh1 (behind the music, bio rythem), and drank a ton of water. then it was about 10pm so i got back w/ the crew for MORE free foodage. there were soo many people down in the troy courtyard this time, for cheeseburger night. i tried the burger king veggie burgers. really they weren't too bad, better than the cheeseburgers. w/ lettuce and mayo, somehow they kinda tasted like chinese stirfry w/ soy and all. interesting. i helped peter turn his frontroom into a sort of tiki room. then they got carried away and i left the room. i went through and checked all my buddies' blogs and left comments galore. fun stuff. i feel in contact with the world.
thursday is not such a good day, i can already tell. i have lots of studying to do. started out really bad, but i dont want to go into that. i need to sleep, maybe the rest of thursday will be better, at least i get to see the babies tomorrow at work. maybe none of them will have a bowel movement. or maybe they will have all learned how to use the toilet, overnight! : )
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 2:12 AM [+] ::
...
 I am Chocolate Flavoured.
I am sweet and a little bit naughty. I am one of the few clinically proven aphrodisiacs. Sometimes I can seem a little hard, but show warmth and I soon melt. What Flavour Are You?
this site was funny, cuz i hit submit once when i had not filled any of the blanks in, just to see what it would do. and it said i tasted like chicken - the unfamiliar meat. haha try it, and let me know what it says about you!
: )
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 12:08 AM [+] ::
...
:: Wednesday, May 01, 2002 ::
technically this weekend went much better than the last, especially as far as my BOY experiences went.
this weekend boy #1 has already emailed asking me what *i* thought of it all, and kinda leaving that door open, telling me he wants to come visit more often.
and i'm not one to close doors myself, especially if a BEAUTIFUL boy is standing outside. : )
but his email was pretty long and mentions something about 'stoned and in love' and 'love in zero gravity'. he could just be entirely insane.
boy #2 has been nothing but nice since then, and has been recently 'hottified'.
yeeeah use it baby, spread the word.
and even though i'm not actively pursuing either, i feel like this weekend can only get better, as i meet more and more people and reassure myself that i am NOT doomed live a lonely life.
take today - i was studying for my final outside of class and this guy approaches me. i've seen him since freshman year, over and over. he may have even lived in parkside (my apt complex) that year, and as he is also a psych major, we'd had many classes together. i always thought he was kinda attractive, and pretty sweet, but he was in a frat so i kept my distance. i guess his frat was always nice to my friends and i when we'd go there, as we knew other people in the house, so we'd always had fun there. but the whole idea of dating a 'greek' made me uneasy, so i just kept to the smile and say 'hi' thing. but today he came to study with me, and he was actually pretty well-informed. we went in together, but i sat next to another friend. after the test he somehow found me again, and walked me back to troy. even though he was going on hoover and somehow cut across to university. very sly. we talked on the way back but at the far corner of my building, where my apt was, i decided we'd part ways. but he said he'd see me at graduation. which is very true.
shane and i paid for our cap n gown rentals today, so that is taken care of. we sat and talked to nicole during lunch. she's the roommate of a friend of ours, and now herself a friend. she is an OPERA major. that's pretty cool if you ask me : ) and she's a cancer, so i have to like her by default, it's inevitable we'd get along.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 5:23 PM [+] ::
...
interesting. i emailed that beautiful boy from friday night, to ask him how coachella went. and he has replied. and it is good.
and the beat goes on.....
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 5:14 PM [+] ::
...
i was looking at my tracker just now, and i noticed that a few people have strayed upon my site from search engines. the interesting part is what they were searching for. hehe. and sometimes i go to read the other sites that come up on these searches. i dont know HOW i get into these categories, but i do mention a lot of random stuff that may seem ... more exciting than it is hehe. for example:
if you search for boy killing sharks pic, my site is #5 on the list!
even though i didn't get to go, i am appearantly #3 when one enters coachella blogs.
my personal favorite - # 15 on an austrailian search for pics suburban sex parties.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 12:52 PM [+] ::
...
HAPPY MAY DAY!!!!
: )
remember in elementary school when every little holiday was a huge event? at my school, we would make may day baskets, out of construction paper. cones w/ handles, to hang from doorknobs. we'd take them home, fill them with flowers, and leave them on someone's door. then we'd knock and run. it was a secret admirer kinda thing but i left it on older neighbor's doors more often than cute boys, cuz old people liked that. and boys had cooties. : ) anyhow, i dont know if everyone did that, or if it was a washington thing hehe. let me know! : ) I HAVE EL COMMENT BOXO!!!!
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 12:33 PM [+] ::
...
oooh check out the new star wars 'music video'. it's soooo good. on the verge of orgasmic (at least as far as peter and i are concerned - no that does not mean i am having an affair w/ peter, unless you count sitting in front of his imac watching the trailers over and over as an affair). maybe i'm just nostalgic but i LOVED the first three (well episodes 4-6). and this one looks sooo romantic and beautiful and thrilling and absolutely breathtaking. ooh.
so i went to work today, and had a little run in w/ the boss lady. no one wanted to go out to the front house to get the cookies and chips and LEMON BARS, etc, so i was sent to bring back plates of stuff. but she saw me. and i think she knew what i was up to, cuz she mentioned she wanted all the ladies to come up and make their appearances. and i wasn't allowed to take what i had back w/ me so i had to sit and eat it ALL to pretend it was for me, so she wouldn't think we were being sneaky. haha. what a feast. it was fun day at work anyhow, and i talked to a few parents and some people from the office who someone remembered my name. i must be SPECIAL haha. one lady tried to get me to work for her psychology/social work research team this summer. but i would have to get more info on that, i like where i'm at. and she informed me that starting salary for kindergarten teachers (which is kinda what i was looking into, cuz that was fun when i did it) is a LOT higher than i thought it was. too many choices argh!
after that i went home and called abe to see if we were still on for the art exhibit. he checked it out (he was already on campus) and called me back and said it was on. so as i was leaving, i ran into thomas and he came with. EVERYONE was there, it was great. i ran into a guy with whom i'd had a sort of ... short lived affair (let's call him HORNY STEVE) and made some good conversation with him, and he told me that a good friend of mine had told him what i'd said about him. that was very naughty of her, she will be punished. i mean he did some screwy things and i got rid of him for a reason, but i hate burning bridges. she even told him that i broke the mug he made for me (which I DID NOT BREAK ... shane and ian did hehe oops), but he asked me if i did this before he mentioned she told him anything so i said 'no, of course not' cuz i didn't want to hurt his feelings. so basically i apologized and explained what was up, cuz i mean he did say some pretty messed up stuff in person and emails but that happens sometimes in relationships, especially when i'm involved. before mike, i would always get tired of guys really fast for some reason, or just not give them enough attention so they would freak out and make a big scene and say nasty things. but i didn't mean to lead them on, i just went as far with it as i could and didn't realize why they were thinking it was something it was.... enough about that....
nd then i decided ms. MOUTH is on my hit list. i mean it's one thing to tell someone that i'm talking shit but she talks shit on him too. they aren't even FRIENDS - he just lives with the guy she's fucking - so i kinda EXPECTED her to keep this one quiet. i COULD have said what she said about him but i didn't want to hurt his feelings. so it was all good and now we are cool, and he was happy. i also ran into dreeeeamy s.s. and had some nice little talks with him off and on. he still makes me smile, he's got a great personality. and he's not UGLY, just not glowy and walking in slow-mo anymore.
there were a few other guys that had passed through the arms of motha love. i think it was just concentrated cuz i've got some sort of 'thing' for art students (not that they all were art students but... eh).
and derek was there, and moving extremely fast. i dont know why, but he was more animated than usual.
we had food and drinks and everything was fun!!!! i had a really good time seeing people that i dont see every day and may not see much of for the rest of my life. bittersweet.
the art show was really good though. the guy had done some great drawings, as well as some extended exposure photos (he used his dad's camera from high school to do these). his theme involved showing LA in a positive light, by tracking down buildings and landscapes that interested him.
i was a bit worried about seeing him after the saturday escapade, cuz i have a problem with SOME loser guys initiating things when they are drunk and then BLOWING ME OFF the next day. i obviously don't WANT a relationship with any of these people, at least not at that point, but it's nice to know people can be HUMANE. so anyways, at one point in the evening he came up to me and put his arm around me and smiled, with a big "hi!". he then went on to explain a few things about his exhibit to us, and introduced us to his dad, meanwhile he was still tossing a few grins my way. and i have to admit, his new hair cut made him very attractive, so he is scoring points left and right. i think maybe HE was actually worried that i was gonna hate HIM because of what happened, which i was kinda worried about him not talking to me for. comprende? but i'm not gonna worry too much about him and just be happy that he is a nice guy. i mean all a girl really wants is a little attention now and then, from nice and attractive guys. anything else starts to get complicated..... i was really too busy with my other pals to talk to him too much though, so i hope he doesn't think I was blowing HIM off. cuz from what was said on saturday, he seemed kinda offended that i wasn't offended. if that makes sense.
that wasn't the last free-food excursion of the night. troy was giving out free pizza in the courtyard, and i had two pieces at 10pm. it was... OK. the best part is seeing my pals all together out there and running into the girls from upstairs and the guys i used to hang out with last year. and hearing about what parties are this weekend.
why do i like smallville so much? dammit. i hate tv! i usually just watch simpsons. but this show.... tonight wasn't the best but i still watched it from start to finish without moving from my chair.
whenever i type "it's", somehow "tits" shows up on the screen. i think either i have a laggy finger, or i am a sexual deviant.
there is something REALLY smelly, like a sour garbage smell, in peter's frontroom. like baaad feet. it's sooo bad, and we think maybe it's the carpet! we had lot of spillage at shane-gri-la but it's out of control now. i hope that's not what it is, cuz it will just get worse if the carpet is rotten. eeew stinky.
ooh aimee mann's video for 'save me' is kinda neat. "you look like a perfect fit, for a girl in need of a tourniquet". i'd never seen it before tonight. the song is featured on the magnolia soundtrack (a movie i really liked - even though it was really really incredibly long) and the video features the characters from the movie, frozen in a lonely, sad moment.
the video was even lonlier than the movie itself i think. maybe i am just in one of those moods. heh.
she has some great songs. her voice lulls me off into a cozy comfort zone of sorts. i LOVE her jazzy, smooth cover of 'one'. "one is the lonliest number that you'll ever do".
the weird thing is aimee mann was once in 'til tuesday, an 80s band with turrible hair. and they had a hit single, 'voices carry'. "hush hush, keep it down now, voices carry". that was cute, and it actually had a lot of meaning. about a man keeping a woman quiet, in her place, etc. but her new stuff is sooo much better.
enough procrastination.
well not really. but i have a final tomorrow at 4pm. mwahaha. let's see how THAT goes. back to studying!
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 12:44 AM [+] ::
...
:: Tuesday, April 30, 2002 ::
i had a lot of really vivid dreams last night. mostly this morning. one involved this store w/ two hot girls who kept winking at me, and a stash of discontinued barbie cars under the counter. another was about coke, and these hot guys who were obviously doped up w/ red under their eyes, trying to convince me they were sober. they were kinda like the model boys on zoolander, or the guys who'd come into my coffeeshop together, bringing in the sunshine. i really dont know what any of it meant, probably nothing.
i really enjoyed being in love. i keep hoping that i will wake up and realize that i wasn't and that it was all in my head. but then i remember things that happened, places we went together, things we said, and they seemed so real. and i want that more than any of this other frou-frou stuff i've been getting. i should feel lucky, most people go their whole lives, even get married, and never feel that intense feeling about someone. that hug of relief. even if it was in my head, i felt it. it was really too good to be true though, i never really expected anything like that to happen, i thought i was a tragically lonesome soul. and maybe i believed that so much that i made it true. just to have something be true, and reliable.
it's safer than running around thinking i am some sexy diva and i can seduce any man in my path. i do my share of seducing, but it is always accidental. i take my passion for falling in love and i let a little of it leak out into the general public. i was kind of hoping that i would believe in something, someone. just by chance.
and when i found him, he scared the shit out of me. i was so afraid i'd mess it all up. kinda like how i used to make model cars and i'd get all nervous putting on the finishing touches. it was just a feeling. nothing i cared to really communicate, it was just there. but then i was all alone again and wanting to find some reassurance. to tell me it wasn't just a dream.
you'd think i'd never been burned before. i have, plenty of times. i should be used to it, and i know it is usually my fault for even getting involved. but this time was different. because this time was good, and this time i didn't think i would get hurt. i must have deep down, or i wouldn't have gone into self-destruct mode. but that is just my nature. but overall, i was feeling good about myself, and about life.
argh i do this to myself and that is the worst part. but how can i break up with myself? i am stuck w/ me until the day i die. what a scary thought.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 1:53 PM [+] ::
...
you may have noticed, but hot... in a good way has been relocated. he can now be found at http://www.typicalmale.com.
dead sexy.
he's got a great site. and he's a cool guy. despite the fact that he has no compassion for those of us lame-o IE4 users. really my computer can't handle an upgrade. it's a pitiful creature.
rachel made it back from manhattan in one piece. maybe two. and she is back to leaving comments in my little comment-contraption-type-thing.
too bad no one else is leaving comments!
HINT HINT.
shane and i have are proud to announce that danbaz is now the loving father of a beautiful baby ...
blackhole. yes, that is where all his previously declared "stolen" goods have gone.
and now it is trying to gobble up his computer memory.
FIGHT THE NOTHING!!!!
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 3:33 AM [+] ::
...
oh my goodness. i'm the worst friend ever. i forgot to email gilu for her bday. sad! i even sent her a regular postage mail and didn't mention it in there! i just kinda lost track of what day it was! and i saw ariel the day after his bday and didn't say anything to HIM either. stupid! where is my head these days. i just want to get on to the next day, and i am not paying attention to anything anymore. argh i'm sorry if i forgot your bday and you are reading this. !!! i really didn't mean to!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
i watched rat race, had a good laugh, and did a lot of studying. free taco del (shitty) and time spent outside. this was all in all a good night.. until i came home.
i am on dialup again. i lost my ethernet. the one i was getting from my cord that was rigged out through the window and back in the balcony. after all that work too. i dont know what is up w/ this. but i really needed to use the net to look up some stuff for a midterm i have on wednesday, and i'm in study mode so i wasn't going to let anything stop me. in an effort to be 'considerate' and not wake up my roommate, i used her connection. after all, it was her choice to put our desks out here in the frontroom, where there is NO phone or ethernet jack. and i didn't even come home til after she was going to bed cuz she creeps me out, and i would rather sit and do homework at shane's with all that ruckus than be in the house w/ her. (i check in once in a while to see if she is finally in the room so i can be out here at my desk). so i get on, and start to use it, and she comes out. she just stands there, once again creeping me out, staring blankly at the wall. i say 'ok so you are awake now'. and take her cord out to use my own. and instead of thanking me for waiting to do this until she was awake, she says in her bitchy tone (still staring at the wall) "i don't feel comfortable you using my things". i said "ok i was just trying to NOT wake you up." and she said "i want you to ask me" and i said "well if you were awake to ask i would not have needed to even use it" and she obviously doesn't get this, because as usual, she is just trying to find something i am doing wrong. so she gets back in bed, and i go about my business pulling my phone cord OUT the window my ethernet goes through, back IN the balcony, and set it up to my computer. meanwhile, i have to keep the light on in the room, and there is lots of noise, cuz i'm opening windows and moving stuff under my bed to get cords, and opening the gate that locks up our balcony. this gate rattles the entire frontroom. but as long as i don't use HER things that she is not using, and that she has left out on the floor of the frontroom, she should be happy. we have different hours of operation, and i really try to respect that she is... different. and i wish she would respect that i prefer to be a night owl, and this is how i get my oh-so-wonderful grades.
you wake me up at 8am every day and i would be as pissy as her all the time, i'm sure. she chose to be that way, and she can at least understand that i choose to have fun AND get stuff done. i dont believe fun has to be sacrificed entirely. and i am sure that when I'M 28yrs i'll still value fun as much as i do now. whether that is right or not.
but i can guarantee you that tomorrow the RA will be calling me again about my 'inconsiderate behaviors'. good thing i work tomorrow. and it's open house day at the daycare cuz our facility is a recent add-on and the BOSS LADY wants to show it off and make a scene out of it. to me, it means free food and parents watching over there own kids. but it also means parents watching me watch over the kids. which is nerve-racking.
i swear, she will not be happy til she can lock me up in my closet by the door.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 2:59 AM [+] ::
...
:: Monday, April 29, 2002 ::
i just finished an aim convo w/ my friend from work. supposedly i'm in the club. even though i won't have anal sex.
you really don't want to know.
i wish every night was free-sundae-night. : (
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 10:28 PM [+] ::
...
i was on campus today, and i saw ANOTHER bluebird, as well as two squirrels! soo cute. it's nice to see a little bit of nature that doesn't seem to be transplanted by the usc maintenance and landscaping crews.
i have seen THREE bluebirds on campus this semester. i wonder if it is the same one every time. like a resident bluebird.
i am helping peter plan his party. he is such a prom-committee kinda guy. he has created some sort of make shift VAL-CANO (as he so wrongly pronounces it), and a WATERFALL, complete with blow-up pink flamingos. it's cute. really. but kinda... frightening. hehe. there is some girl he really really wants to kiss that night, and i will feel so bad for him if it doesn't work out. i like to see my friends happy and excited. i would like to bring a date of my own but i can't even think of anyone to ask. that i sad. and it's basically a kscr party so if i dont invite a guy, i am not gonna meet one there. we will be inviting girls though, and hopefully talking them all into wearing costumes. i've got mine picked out, if i can get drunk enough to leave my room in it.
i won't be seeing a lot of peter after graduation, he is such a mama's boy. usually in the summer he is home by 11pm every night. he did make it to my birthday last summer. this summer it will be a birthday EXTRAVAGANZA!! and this time i SWEAR i will not pass out. at least until after midnight. : ) hopefully i can keep in touch w/ everyone else though. the end of the year is always good to me, but this year is kinda sad. lots of people are leaving.
i have finals this week. i really tried to study today. then i got hungry and went to eat w/ the crew. and then i got talked into watching rat race w/ peter. it's really a funny movie, so it didn't take much to convince me to watch it.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 9:40 PM [+] ::
...
i took this quiz, pretending i was back in HS again... oh those were the days....
Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 4:12 AM [+] ::
...
:: Sunday, April 28, 2002 ::
we went to the grove yesterday. that's a new outdoor mall on fairfax and third. which was nice cuz we got to eat at farmer's market (mmm cajun po'boys, gumbo, and mint iced tea!). there is a set of tracks going through the center of the mall plaza, for a trolley that goes back and forth past the dancing fountain that sings carly-simon-like loungey cover songs. very cheesey. we bought some yummy handsoap for our new houses and i got some new unmentionables at vickies. we ran into ariel, who was working at banana republic. i got a lot of stuff on sale (i'm a thrifty gal!) and then we went on to johnny rockets for dessert. the waitress doctored my root beer float up w/ some chocolate syrup mmmm.
we came back and went to this party at jen's place past adams on portland. i was kinda hesitant cuz it was pretty private, but it was sooo much fun! everyone there was really cool, and i met a few more girls that i like even! a lot of people that i saw around parkside freshman year were there, and i got to talk to them for the first time (i was really shy back then). there were two djs (from what i remember), and the music was damn good! fun dancing time! jen's boyfriend, eddy the pisces, was really cool, he was only about five years old though (leap year bday!). he reminded me a lot of e-gene from huntington beach, really sociable and funny, quick-witted, and he was from newport beach.
there was a girl there that i've kinda had a crush on, and i helped some guy do her hair up like flock of seagulls in the apartment across the hall. they were gonna call some guy for coke, which i thought was a good idea at the time - i was that drunk. then i got nervous that she would know i liked her (i didnt know she was a lesbian at the time - doh) and left that room.
ian passed out on the patio, in fetal position. we'd all had shots of jaegger on top of our mixed drinks.
i was talking to this one cool guy all night, that i also kinda met freshman year. evidently he wanted to kiss me. and evidently he had a girlfriend. who is evidently my friend's roommate. woops. i honestly did not know this, she wasn't there. someone else told me later. anyhow we talked for a few hours cuz he walked me home, and he wants me to go see his art exhibit this week. i'm cool w/ just being his friend. i didn't want to think that he was really interested in ME, just in finding someone. i dont like to think anyone is into me these days. it's not safe. then there is a lot of disappointment. my hopes are low for the future, he has a girlfriend and disregards that, so he is not someone i would like to date. especially if they were together as long as they were. i was just enjoying the moment, having fun and trying to not feel anything emotionally. he did seem like a good person at heart, perhaps lost and misunderstood, and i would like to get to know him better.
why am i at the core of all drama. even when i am drunk and not doing anything for any specific reason. grrr.
all in all it was a really really good night, and i went home at 6 - and found typing very difficult still. hehe so you get my post now.
on an up note - shane's film class said i was entrancing. hehe.
danbaz is taking me and shane to cadillac cafe for lunch. well he is treating, but i am driving cuz HIS CAR KEYS WERE STOLEN. what is going on w/ this poor guy's karma? daaamn.
:: meggy spilled the "beans" at 3:22 PM [+] ::
...
|
|
